A Best Girls Guide To Being A Bridesmaid

February 13, 2020

By Erika Lindberg

A wedding is a celebration of love between two people and coming together of loved ones, friends and family. It’s also one of the most stressful experiences for all those involved and the Bridesmaids certainly don’t get let off lightly! You may not have the almighty stress of preparing the funniest speech ever – like the poor Best Man – but you will certainly shoulder any worries the bride may have about her big day, and theres no getting away form the fact that the bride has probably been dreaming about this moment (and planning it in her head!) for most of her life. I’m sure i wasn’t alone in the ‘playing pretend’ stakes when i used my mum’s tablecloth as a veil along with her new high heels whilst trying to squeeze into my old bridesmaid dress i wore 2 years earlier (complete with rips and food stains). Trotting around pretending you’re getting married will always be a fabulous past time for any 5 year old i’m sure but when the real day draws close, it isn’t all so much hearts and flowers as stress and tears…

Brides tend to forget that while they’re 100% committed in planning their wedding, the rest of the world isn’t, which as a statement, would be foolish to mention to the intended bride as she really thinks otherwise. Try your best to be enthusiastic and inquisitive (even if you’re bored senseless by the ongoing saga), remember that this is an exciting time for some and one day it may be your turn!

If you have been lucky enough (or unlucky enough in some cases) to be chosen as a bridesmaid for your best friend or family member, a few tips are necessary to help guide you through this auspicious occassion. A Bridesmaid has many functions, but first and foremost you are there to make the bride happy and give her a helping hand with the planning. You should be on hand to help with any small problems that may arise and offer a shoulder to cry on when the bigger problems present themselves. Offering advice is always a good thing, however, critising the brides decisions may not be a welcoming gesture and will only add to her anxiety and stress (and will possibly get you booted out of the ceremony altogether).

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Bridesmaids usually wear outfits chosen by the bride. In many cases, the bride would not intentionally want to humiliate her close friend or family member by putting them in an absolutely hideous outfit. However, it is the brides decision at the end of the day and although your thoughts will again be welcome, they will also need to be censored for arguements sake of upsetting the bride.

Traditionally, bridesmaids dresses are paid for by the Bridesmaids (unlucky, especially when the style is more often than not, the brides choice!) Thankfully nowadays payment is normally shared between you and the bride or sometimes even paid for by her dad.

Once you add up the cost of the shoes, makeup, dresses, accessories, not to mention the Champagne, it can be an expensive business!! The bride’s choice of Bridesmaids’ dresses will depend on several factors, most importantly what she is wearing herself. If she chooses a long elaborate gown, then you will properly be in something similar. If, however she decides to marry in a shorter, simpler style, then it would look stupid if she made you put on a bright orange number with frills (which would be tragic but more than anything, absolutely no good whatsoever if you’re still single and hoping to get off with the best man). Remember to make time for dress fittings and to be as flexible with your time as you can. This will ease the stress away from the Bride herself and hopefully make the whole experience a fun one! As chief Bridesmaid, you should co-ordinate the other Bridesmaids and make the arrangements for the fittings. All the Bridesmaids should meet up at least once before the wedding day, and you should take the lead in organising it. This is where the biggest event of any wedding comes into play! Yes, you guessed it….. the Hen Weekend!!!

As chief Bridesmaid, it’s your job to organise the Bride’s Hen Night, Hen Weekend, final-fling party or whatever you want to call it, before she becomes a married woman. It doesn’t have to be all L-plates and Firemen, (unless that’s what turns you on). It’s a good idea to speak to the bride-to-be (BTB) as soon as possible to swap idea’s and come to some sort of agreement as to what she constitutes a fabulous Hen Night or Hen weekend experience. The BTB will more than likely have planned this part of the wedding (in her head) as well, so the only problem you will have is making sure you can get everyone together and collect up all the money from the party beforehand. This can prove to be incredibly stressfull and near on impossible if you don’t get the full cooperation of everybody intending to go on the Hen Weekend! It’s advisable to book with a reputable company who will take all the stress out of planning for you and will act as a third party between you and the other members of the party. This is made easy when you can e mail everyone the package you have booked and they can ring up and make payment instead of you having to get evryone together to collect little bits of money here and there!

Finally, you need to be looking your best and at the brides beck and call on her big day. It’s your job to make sure her veil isn’t wonky, her dress isn’t caught in any doors, or god forbid, her knickers! You need to also make sure the bride is looking her best too so lip gloss or lipstick is always an essential incase the blushing bride needs a top up before the photgraphs are taken. Organising the other or much smaller bridesmaids or page boys will be an important part of your duties carried out on the big day as well, so have a carefully constructed plan or where everyone needs to be standing, in place, to save on any drama’s later on.

Mainly, have fun and know your alcohol limits! No one wants to wake up the next morning with horrific visions of the chief bridesmaid with her dress around her ears swigging shots like there’s no tomorrow with eyeliner smudged around her face and sick stains on her fabulous and expensive bridesmaids dress!

About the Author: My name is Erika Lindberg and I have worked in PR for the last 10 years. I am currently working for betterweekends.com and numerous other agencies anaylising the travel and tourism industry, in particular, the hen and stag market and the festive industry of culture anaylising celebration.

Source: isnare.com

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